2006 has been a predictable year for me. and it was not good.

and since then, i've been thinking a lot about everything that surrounds me. it was later on when i realized that i can barely think for my own self.

the rummages of thoughts cause the insomnia that i couldn't avoid. different imaginary scenarios played on mind as if they are (or will) actually happening. i remember even striking up "mock" conversations, making faces and everything that put these pictures into detail. maybe that's how i make tire of my mind, blame the busy brain.

and given some advantageous chances, i confront the enemy. i'd find myself babbling over the words, unable to speak out the right term. it was not easy letting it out, i was thinking too much i get mixed up with a lot of other things going on. even planning beforehand could still not overcome that shaky feeling of the shy.

but at least, i was able to set some things right... on my own, though.

i've noticed, things around aren't going well. in fact, they might be getting worse. with each time that passes by, the attempt to outdo one only end up the same as before, or farther than expectations. it's an awful truth that everyone just miss getting that point.

sadly, nothing seems easier. and experience just couldn't remind everybody that the world is still too big for each individual.

at that instant of pity, i couldn't blame myself. people are starting to lose the patience to change and wait for that something from above grace. they do not attempt to challenge the faith, the world, and themselves. they continue to drown themselves into their own misery and keep on seeing the world as it is.

it's not an excuse that in your everyday life, you are met by circumstances you are forced to meet. though you whine, you still make way and then afterwards, finish like an ordinary day. nothing special. you've only spent a few hours tiring yourself out without even fulfilling the heart's desire... or maybe wasting it.

it is not in the idea of trying something new, the physical factor only changes the setting of yours, but it could only make a sling of your heart temporarily but later on forget what that deal was all about.

"Results! Why, man I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work." - Thomas A. Edison