for the second time, i thought i was gonna die.

and for the record, the first time occured September 2006, two times on one night. so technically, this is the third experience of "almost feel like dying."

the irony though of it, is that i discovered and confirmed the stories shared by the few people who took the bold step of letting the world know how it felt like. i got that "chance" of really feeling it... the hard way.

the two-in-one-night experience was shared here: "Someone Wants Me Dead"

so anyway, on with the show. but for starters, i must tell you that this has a lot different from the other. and i'm still wondering why it would happen untimely to me.

no, i haven't eaten heavily (or for the past days, for that matter). and i'm not that beaten up and tired from such an activity that would easily get me drifting to sleep. no, it's been an ordinary day like any other boring day i could remember.

for a nightmare to happen... the bangungot is supposedly a "dream." what's great is that i have perfect recollection with my memory. what's greater? i totally felt my mind running, my consciousness is alert even while i was dreaming that bad.

in this dream, i was half awake. it was totally dark, and my mind told me that i was still inside my room. i remember sleeping while hugging a pillow on top of my head. but at that time, i was holding onto a bar. honestly, i literally felt it: a metal railing smooth as any other processed scrap. that's when the nightmare started filling in...

i was hanging on with one arm. at that thought my mind was full awake now. i know i should be dreaming, but my feet did not feel the bed but motionless in space, like i was somewhere far above. my senses were totally disrupted by the illusion this dream created. even my mind could not convince myself that it was only a dream.

and i'm starting to panic. scared. i was helpless.

in front of me, a door was slightly open. i did not notice it earlier, but a soft light was behind it. as my eyes focused, i saw this little child standing beside it. i actually thought it was my five year old nephew, Kian.

i tried calling out his name. but my lips were not moving.

my jaws were numb, and my lips felt like they were glued together. a sound came out with a whisp of air. i tried calling out again. but the same sound was released.

i realized i was moaning deeply. (with stories of bangungot before, i actually thought the "moaning part" was something suffering in their dreams, or something horrible...)

then two hands grabbed my chest from behind and started pulling me back.

i was hanging helplessly with one arm. i was seeing this child near a door in front of me. i can't move a single muscle in my jaws to call out. my eyes are still heavy. my mind is already racing wildly, trying to break free from this curse. and now, two hands suddenly appeared from nowhere and started pulling me from behind.

i never got the chance to see these hands, but they were awfully cold.

i was now more scared than ever before. i tried my best to open my mouth and say something, call out for Kian. i was struggling, and i thought i really was about to be taken away from this world.

"Kian!" i finally said. my voice was hoarse as if strained before. but i finally got out of that spell. i knew i was gaining my consciousness and literally waking up.

the darkness is still the same. but the hands grabbing me disappeared. the metal railing switched back to the pillow i was sleeping with. the door with the boy near it turned out to be the wall near my bed.

i noticed i was breathing heavily. and i felt my heart thumping against my chest, beating wildly. i was exhausted.

it was sometime like 2:30am. but i did not sleep from then on (but not until the next night).

so i survived another "near-death" experience. whatever saved me was still a mystery. i did not pray while frantic, i forgot to. but those cold hands were odd; the last time, i was pulled by my feet. and now, by my chest, as if someone was keeping me from falling down that bottomless pit i was in the middle of.

the next question is: when is the next time?


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